The love not requited: here is what you don't know

  Long post alert! Sorry guys, I tried to make it shorter, but the thoughts...they just won't stop coming.😤😤😤🙏🙏🙏

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Hmmmm...(sad face) how do I even start? On my way out today to where I went to, I was really excited to share what I have on this with you guys, but then, I unfortunately came back not the same. I came back sad. Something very trivial but still significant had made me sad. It even almost affected my mental health; almost wanted to make me feel less, but then, I told myself, "Ugoo, you have come too far to let some other person's action make you feel this way. You remember what you promised yourself? Never to let anyone make you feel less? Never to allow anyone gloat over you? No baby, it's not part of the agreement. It doesn't matter whether what the person did was right or wrong, intentional or not intentional, but you just can't feel this way. You are way better than this. Just let it go. Don't bother yourself noticing it, alright? It's not worth your time or anger". Well, after I told myself this, I felt really better. But like the after taste of a bitter pill, the remnant of that initial sadness just stuck there and refused to go away. 

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(Heaves a sigh of relieve)hey you! (Smiling)I think I feel better now. Yes, I mean to say that not even the after taste of that bitter pill is remaining anymore. Saying it out here quite did a lot of magic. By the way, thanks for listening to that boring incomplete tale(lips curled in a childish smile). 

So, back to the main thing...you know, often times, most of us have this person we think we feel something beautiful or deep for, and would want this thing we feel, whatever it is, to be appreciated or reciprocated. However, sometimes, this is just not the case. Sometimes, this person you feel something for just seems not ready, confused, cunny or even outrightly don't feel the spark we feel. 

But unfortunately, I am not here to talk about the ones who seem not feel the same way we do. Yes, I know that part hurts so bad...however, the truth remains that some people we feel a spark for might just not feel the same way, and sweetheart, that is alright. It is actually very fine. We all don't like the same thing, but does that mean the ones we don't like are not good enough? No. It's just all about personal choice. 

So, if you feel something for someone who doesn't feel the same way, don't let that get to you. It doesn't mean you are not attractive. Neither does it mean you have a problem. The only thing here is, they just don't choose you, and it's ok, because everybody in life must not choose you. Nonetheless, I want you to know this, if love is what you really want, believe in it, and be true to yourself; the universe itself would supply you with what you believe in. However, I need us to understand that people would always have their choices, but does their own choice in anyway invaldate ours? Never! 

Now, back to what I was saying...yes, I was saying that sometimes, some people who we feel attracted to appears not interested in taking us serious. Some of them could even go as far as engaging you, giving you that "special one" vibes and all, but when it comes to them commiting, they just run away. At this point, we start feeling hurt, heartbroken and frustrated. We look at them and we feel they are only toying with out emotions. And then, we start seeing them as mean, wicked, heartless. 

But hey, what if I told you that person you think mean and wicked is even the one suffering the more? What if I told you, that this person you think heartless is only a helpless confused soul trying to find him/herself in a world so confusing? 

The fact is, for most people in their early youthful age, especially those in their 20s and early 30s (who are really intent on being successful in life), relationship would always be the last thing on their mind. It's not that they don't want it, they do most times. Yet, when they remember that they don't even know who they are yet, neither do they know what exactly their life is all about, it simply becomes naturally impossible for them today start doing any serious thing in the name of a relationship with anybody. 

Some of these crushes of yours are just struggling people trying to survive first before any other thing. I know this, because I have been in that position (even still in that position) where I like someone so much and I really wish I could commit, but I can't. Why? My mind isn't just at rest enough to undertake any such relationship. 

Actually, except your crush, supposedly within the age range I mentioned earlier is someone whose parents already made a way for and they have nothing to worry them anymore, or someone who wishes not to be any more successful than answering the wife of a rich man(for the women. Sorry, but this true in our Nigerian setting), then I think branding them wicked or mean is way too harsh of us. 

Instead of going about and letting another person's life decisions bother you, why not try to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand them? Who knows? This might even get you more closer to this person and you two could become something much more better than what you were even expecting. 

The bottom line? Well, I think we should all be a little more understanding of each other's predicament. We should all understand that this life is not easy for anyone. As someone I know once said, we are all unhappy people with happy faces. We all are just here, trying all we can to survive.